4.28.2017

Intoxicated


My love and hate relationship with something almost so integral with everyday life.


Let's talk about social media for a bit, shall we? I've been thinking what I should write up for this post for the last couple of days, and you know what sparked up this topic? The fact that I was feeling so unconfident and jealous and insecure. And the reason for it? Social media.

I know that I don't have a big following or even many people who know that I even run a blog, but social media has impacted me in a way that I can't thoroughly comprehend. Since 2013, I've been taking pictures for Instagram using my cheap Android phone. In 2014, I received an email for my first collaboration. My eagerness for producing styles that others could enjoy and take inspiration from started to grow, and I continued to try to up my game by using more professional cameras and software. A whole world of blogging, fashion, and creativity opened up for me, but that's when I started to become unsure. The people that I had followed and admired for so long became the people that I came to be jealous of. How are they so creative? How do they look so good so naturally? Why can't I look like that? But please don't get me wrong; I still and will forever admire and support them because I honestly believe that they absolutely deserve the life they've worked for.
It had become something so toxic for me. I started nitpicking every single part of who I was and dissecting how I could change that part of me to become better. The little things I liked about myself became the some of the worst things about myself because How could I be like that? Is that how I am perceived by others? Am I not creative as I used to be anymore?
The easy fix would be just to delete my apps and focus on other things, but I love blogging. I love creating content with B and sharing it with my peers and the random dots of people around the world. Going out to shoot excites me. Wearing what I truly want to wear without a filter makes me the happiest. Editing photos allows me to experiment and to play with colors and moods. It's a difficult relationship that I have with social media, and I'm sure with many of you. The most important thing to remember, as I keep stressing to myself, is balance. Balancing my life for social media/blogging and taking care of myself is the only way I can keep myself confident and sane.

I've noticed in my last couple of posts that I've been struggling with ending each post with a lesson or an affirmation. Perhaps because I don't have a solution myself to what I've been writing. Of course, I would love your input on these topics and how you would go about them.

PHOTOGRAPHY Brandon Lee Davis
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